Things NOT to say to your probation officer...
"I feel like such a criminal."
"I don't have a problem with drinking, I just lied about it cause my head is messed up."
"I shouldn't come later in the day anymore, you look like you don't want to hear it."
"I tried to hacksaw through my ankle bracelet." (yes, while it was attached to his leg)
"I don't think I need your permission to go to Jamaica."
"I didn't 'fail to report', I just missed it."