pants on fire

me: Any further police contact?

tiffany: No, not at all.

me: ...and have you used any drugs or alcohol?

tiffany: nope.

me: Okay, I'm going to screen you today since we need an update for your file.

tiffany: -face dropping-

me: Can we bring your baby in the bathroom with us or should I find another female officer to watch her while we do this?

tiffany: um...

me: What's wrong?

tiffany: It's going to be positive for pot.

me: Why did you lie to me?

tiffany: -crying- Because I didn't know you were going to screen me!

me: Well, the question wasn't 'if you knew I was going to screen you today would you admit to using drugs?'

tiffany: You're right. Sorry.

me: If I ask you a question you need to tell me the truth.

tiffany: -bawling- I promise. I will be honest with you. I am so stressed lately cause my mom called CPS on me....


..... and so begins a whole different story, which I am sure she was telling the honest to goodness truth about.